“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
She got missed.Two days ago she just went out from home and didn´t back as usual. She is my first`s cat daugther. She borned in my house, we had her for two years and treated her like the princess of this home. She was actually the princess of this kingdom.Now she is gone.
I still hope she is just out for a few days and goes back like cats usually do. But some part of me knows she is gone.
Before having my cats, I always thought it was stupid when people got too attached to their pets. Especially with cats, cause well….we know how cats are. How could a cat make you feel better, give you some company or even comfort you? They are selfish animals and it`s always said that cats are merciless masters. Or so I was told.
I obviously changed my mind. She, my Lola, comforted me when I needed to. She loved to sneak into my room and curl close to me or in times of stress or breakowns, she just lied next to me, in her way,comforting me. Having her sleeping there sometimes helped me to feel better and we, in our way, have our affection link.
So I can firmly say that now my heart is wrung and broken. And it feels like a part of me is missing.
Please, come back home.
Life changed. And when I said “changed”, it means big changes.
I started a new path, even if I still don`t know where I am going to.
I got lost. But they said that sometimes you need to get lost so you can find yourself again.
I still don´t know what I want to do with my life, but at least I feel like I´m trying to.
For a long time, I felt as if I had a deadline. I mean, myself. My life. Like, when I reached certain age or point in my life I would get frozen or simply wouldnt be able to make any change or so in it. Now I´m trying to fight this feeling. I´m trying to enjoy this new stage in my life that I started. I know it`s not gonna be easy but no one said it would be.
In the end, I am just fighting againts myself.
I may post often or get lost again until I remember that I have this blog.
But here I am.
……I was trouble….
Not really. Most likely, I told you that I have a lack of discipline that makes me totally unable to update any blog in a regular basis. Thats it. its more like I feel I really have nothing to post about so……
I know its quite late (exactly,16 days!) but Happy New Year!
Im just two days late if we take in consideration Russian`s Calendar so…
I really took seriously the word “Holidays” and I spent all my christmas doing nothing but rest. I was quite off from net too so…sorry, no post!
I should stop watching make up tutorials at youtube.
I just purchased a Maybelline Black gel eyerline I saw in one. One of my weak points when it comes to make up is the eyerline. My eye is quite small so I always end up looking like a panda when I use eyerline. So lets see how it goes….I never used eyer line in gel.
I had to buy it at ebay as it seems that they dont sell it in Spain :S
Im now writing my report about Germany and the concert, oh god, its gonna be long! I already have two pages just for introduction!
When I came back last Monday from Germany, after 4 days without, the first thing I read is that Dir en grey is releasing a new single in January….hell yes…!
Its been almost a year after their last release of another single and we will have new stuff for next year. The new cd seems to be close!
NEW SINGLE 『LOTUS』 2011.01.26 RELEASE 11/26 up
【Initial Limited Version】 CD＋DVD SFCD-0078～79 ￥1,890 (tax in)
【Original Version】 CD only SFCD-0080 ￥1,260 (tax in)
Manufactured by FIREWALL DIV.
Distributed by Sony Music Distribution(Japan)Inc.
Everybody is saying that it would be a ballad almost for sure. Really,the titles suggest calm, but I would love another hard song. But ballads are always welcome as well.
So, bye bye euros! Mean cdjapan for already put it up so we could make the preorder…
Lets see how it goes…
Im finally back from Germany, back and safe!
It was really cold, but not as much as I expected, but its really really a lot colder than Spain, at least, when I left cause I came back like 12 hours ago and temperature did change a lot! Wtf! I wanted my 15ºC! 😦
Bochum was really lovely. I liked the city a lot. I had a really good good time! I would go again without a second though!
The concert was amazing too, really really amazing!
Im not gonna write about it now, cause I want to write a proper review of all the trip and especially about the concert. But I swear I will do the review cause I would like to remember this for a long time:p